Let’s face it, if you go through a divorce or a rough breakup, it can be a little hard to get back out there and test the waters of new companionship. Sometimes we get so used to things being a certain way that we don’t want to be bothered with going out into the world and meeting new people. I must admit that I am constantly asking myself “who has the time to go out and make new friends?” Even though I have never been divorced, or even married for that matter, I have been through enough break-ups to know how hard it is finding a new mate who you are compatible with. After a divorce the thought of seeing new faces, the suggestion of having to go into a new environment and meeting new people, or the idea of sitting on the phone with someone and asking those mundane “what’s your favorite food” type of questions can be a bit unsettling. Truly, the dating scene can be pretty tough water to tread at times, especially if you are recovering from a situation that was so emotionally draining that it felt like your head was spinning off of your body for months at a time.
Whether we want to do it now or not, eventually we all will have to get back out there and see what the world has to offer. No, let me rephrase that. We must get back out there and show the world what WE have to offer. After all of the lawyers have gone home, the family court judge has banged his gavel for the final time, the assets have been divided, and we know that our previous relationship will never be reconciled we must eventually find love again.
In the grand scheme of things there are a plethora of issues for us dads to deal with after we split from our mate. The most important thing should be what is commonly known as “the best interest of the child”. Our children should be our first, our last, and our everything. Not one date that you go on or one dating prospect that you may have should be more important to you than your children. As fathers we have to be very particular about the women who we allow into our lives and the lives of our children. If you’re on the market and just looking for the next hot thing, be careful because every personal relationship that we have ultimately affects our children.
I don’t know about you, but when it comes to dating I just have certain deal breakers that cause me to totally lose interest in a person and cease all communication with them. With my daughter around me as much as she is, I simply do not have the desire to mix and mingle with a potential partner who just isn’t on the same page as I am.
He are five deal breakers that every single father should avoid if he is currently dating or looking to date in the near future.
Number 5 – She Isn’t Supportive Of Your Relationship With Your Kids
One of the things that really grinds my gears about today’s society is that so many people do not understand the impact that a father has on his children’s lives. There are still some people who think that raising a child is only a woman’s duty and fathers don’t play a major part in the day to day commitments of raising a child. If you constantly have to explain why you have to do certain things with your kids, or why you have certain obligations with your children that can’t be broken then she is not the one for you. If she doesn’t understand your desire to be the best possible parent that you can be, she will never understand who you are at your core as a person.
Number 4 – She Doesn’t Get Along Well With Kids
As men we think that every woman has that biological motherly instinct that draws them closer to children. That’s a misconception. You would be surprised at how many women will say that they don’t get along with children. Not only do some women not want to have children of their own, some of them don’t even want to take the time to get acquainted with yours. This decision is perfectly fine for some people, but as fathers we have to have a certain vetting process. During this process we have to find out what the other person’s feelings are about children and if they willing to eventually accept your children as a part of their life as the relationship grows.
Number 3 – She Carries Baggage From A Previous Relationship
The first thing that anyone should do before stepping into a new relationship is throw out the junk that they are carrying with them from the past. If you find that you are dating someone who is carrying hidden issues from their past it’s best to let them go so they can handle those issues internally before they become a burden on you which could eventually affect your children.
Number 2 – She’s Too Clingy
Some women can go overboard with showing how dedicated they are to a partner. If she is too clingy it will make it difficult to focus on your own personal needs in addition to those needs that your children have. You will be constantly trying to make sure that she has every accommodation that she needs, and potentially neglect those of your family.
Number 1 – She Lies
If you can’t trust her to tell you the truth about something, then you most definitely can’t trust her around your children. The stakes are too high in our society for us to bring people around our children who lack integrity and honesty. Even if it’s a small lie, don’t stick around. In the long run it won’t even be worth the headache.