We all know the phrase that has been said so many times over the years…”When A Womans Fed Up…” So fellas we know that when a woman is fed up, there aint nothing we can do about it, right? But ladies what about when men get fed up. Is it anything that can be done to salvage a situation once a brotha is ready to walk away?
In the early 90′s there was a song called “Lookin’ At The Front Door” by Main Source. One of my favorite lines from that song was when Large Professor said “my friends always tell me how I’m lucky to possess/The best looking girl in the whole U.S./But every time you scream, you blow your finesse/Tryin’ to dis the Profess” So many times when we are looking at other folks relationship we think that everything is going good for them, just because they “look cute together” or because “they never argue”. As you probably already know from your own life experiences, men aren’t like women, if we aren’t satisfied in a relationship, we may not verbalize it publicly like women do. A woman who is not happy will find a way to tell her girlfriends, her mom, her sister, and anybody else who will listen to them if she feels like she is not able to effectively communicate with her mate. A man on the other hand will usually save any public theatrics and keep his thoughts to himself and speak on it at home. Most men have a problem with expressing how they truly feel to their woman when things are going good. So that same lack of communication can come into play when things are going bad. It’s a bad trait that we have. But if we want things to get better, we have to learn to communicate with our women and let them know what we want and what can be done to improve each situation.
Usually, when a man is in a relationship he expects the same thing from his woman that she expects of him…that’s USUALLY. We all want love, kind words, affectionate touches, sex regularly, those moments of affirmation when she makes it known that she won’t be going anywhere because you are the only one that matters. But what happens, when those things start to decrease and the arguments and beef start to increase. Ladies let me tell you a secret that you may not be hip to yet. It don’t take much to keep us happy. For the most part all you gotta do is feed us…f*ck us…and show interest in the things that are interesting to us. If your man like sports, try to sit down and watch a game with him every now and then. If he likes Xbox, then get you a gamer tag and play along with him sometimes. You have to let him know that you can be his homie…lover…and his friend.
Usually it takes a lot to push a man over the edge once he commits himself to a woman. Just speaking from experience, I know that some of the things that can make a man want to give up include but are not limited to; being too needy, being too argumentative, not having any drive or passion to better yourself, being insecure, and just flat out not being the same type of person. I think a lot of time we get fed up due to boredom. It’s easy to get bored with someone who you have been with for a while. ladies, it’s YOUR responsibility to make sure that your man stays excited about being with you, just as it is HIS responsibility to make sure that you are satisfied in every area of the relationship. Sometimes ladies you have to check yourself, because a man won’t always tell you when he is close to a breaking point. The one thing that you don’t want to do is think that no matter what you do he is always going to come back. Just because you have had issues that were resolved in the past does not mean that you can keep doing the same thing and not get kicked to the curb.
Ladies, here are a few things I think you can do to prevent your man from getting fed up.
LET A MAN BE A MAN - I understand that we are in a day and time when women are capable of doing jus as much if not more in life then their man is. But sometimes the best part of being a man, is feeling like a man. When you’re walking into a store, let him hold the door for you. When it’s time to pick out what movie and go to dinner you are going to see give him the opportunity to make the reservations and get the tickets. Those are just some of the small things that can sometimes make a big difference.
DON’T BE TOO NEEDY OR CLINGY- Now this may be a little tricky for some women. Because even though you should let a man be a man, you still need to have your own sense of independence. Unless your man is one of the men who used to be on Jerry Springer back in the day, men don’t want women who can’t think for themselves. You existed before you and he got together, so you have to make sure you keep that same sense of self dependency that you had before you met him. Sometimes when women get into relationships, and they are really feeling the guy they lose their sense of self. It becomes more about what HE thinks as opposed to what you know is right for you. You don’t have to attach yourself to the man’s hip just for him to care about you. Look for clues, if he isn’t exhibiting the signs of wanting to be around you, and doesn’t seem as enthused about what you have with him then you have a problem….HE’S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU!!!
DO THE SAME THINGS YOU DID TO GET HIM AFTER YOU’VE GOTTEN HIM – Now this is one of the biggest reasons that guys get fed up. Women will do things in the beginning of the relationship, and once they get comfortable it’s a wrap. So many times I hear brothas say that their woman used to do things like cook, keep a clean house, do fun things with them, and keep then interested in the beginning stages only to turn into a totally different person as time goes on. Ladies you gotta keep it consistent. And if you don’t keep it consistent, you need to find a way to compensate for the areas that you have fallen off. You put in all of that hard work in the beginning, don’t let it go to waste just because you don’t think you have enough time or energy to dedicate to keeping your man happy.
DON’T TALK…JUST LISTEN – You know I’m really big on open and honest communication. IF something is going wrong then you both need to work together to resolve the problem. But like a wise person told me, you can’t listen and talk at the same time. If you have a man who isn’t very vocal but you can tell that things aren’t right, you have to find a way to engage him in the conversation. If and when he does finally start to talk and express certain things, listen to what he says and learn from it. Once you have at least attempted to grasp what he is saying, then let him know you want and desire out of the situation and how it can be better. There isn’t one problem that can’t be resolved if the two parties are willing to sit down, talk to each other, and just spend time LISTENING.
Women think that when a man is fed up that the first thing that he is going to think about doing is cheating. That’s not always the case. Sometimes a man can be fed up and still love you enough to stick around. But you have to ask yourself, how long is he going to stick around being miserable, and what can I do to make the situation better?